My Gift to The Earth

For Earth Day, I decided to go to the YMCA and exercise rather than eat potato chips and get depressed like I usually do on Sunday. My idea is that doing things to stay alive longer will benefit The Earth because burying my toxic body in healthy loam isn't going to do anything but pollute. Every time I go to the gym I'm in a bad mood when I arrive and a good mood when I leave, like it's drugs! I guess that makes sense, seeing how people pay money to inflict pain on themselves around smelly strangers. The exciting thing today, however, is that I noticed a flyer for a new class: PUNK ROPE! I guess it's a jump rope class, and I guess punk is a "good word" these days. It starts next week, maybe I'll  try it! It says, "All levels of jump rope ability are welcome-- even SPEEN level!" I'm not kidding. That's generous because the last time I tried to jump rope I got it caught in my hair. OK, it didn't really say that, about the "Speen level." But the rest of this is true.