Hot!

Some have suggested an AC unit, but if were can hold out a few more days, fall will be here.

Sunday at "The Crib"

Alright, I'm here... now where is everyone?

Shake Shack line is too long... I guess you all went down to Toft's for some sundaes,,,,

Tell A Story Day

So today I decided is the day I am officially starting my new novel, K2, which is the sequel to The Doughnuts. (Of course, in actuality I already started it... on 4/20/12... which isn't exactly true... because I actually started it sometime earlier in the year, or actually last year... I'm not sure when... but it's been pretty slow to get started, but today is the day I am REALLY starting it.) So I am celebrating by smoking a cigar, a Kinky Friedman "Lone Star" which kind of has put me under...

Ahoy!

This party is really starting to heat up.
It might be time to run out for some more pretzels from Snyder's of Hanover!
(national pretzel day tomorrow... or that's now, actually!)

Open for suggestions!

Sausage Party

Hey, all dudes. My kind of place!

My Gift to The Earth

For Earth Day, I decided to go to the YMCA and exercise rather than eat potato chips and get depressed like I usually do on Sunday. My idea is that doing things to stay alive longer will benefit The Earth because burying my toxic body in healthy loam isn't going to do anything but pollute. Every time I go to the gym I'm in a bad mood when I arrive and a good mood when I leave, like it's drugs! I guess that makes sense, seeing how people pay money to inflict pain on themselves around smelly strangers. The exciting thing today, however, is that I noticed a flyer for a new class: PUNK ROPE! I guess it's a jump rope class, and I guess punk is a "good word" these days. It starts next week, maybe I'll  try it! It says, "All levels of jump rope ability are welcome-- even SPEEN level!" I'm not kidding. That's generous because the last time I tried to jump rope I got it caught in my hair. OK, it didn't really say that, about the "Speen level." But the rest of this is true.

MOMS, DOGS, & FUNERALS

SO my mom may or may not have shown up as a dog to her funeral. And she may or may not have been a shaman and a witch while she was making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for me for school all those years. But, I know if she was a witch she was for the most part happy and filled with a good white light. My mom ran around the church in Carchiveen, Kerry that morning and pissed at the head of her earth body's casket three times and muddied up the altar girl's robes good and nipped at the geriatric priest's fingertips. No one could catch her, and everybody laughed like they weren't in church but like they were in the pub. Gawd, I love my mom and her laughter and her pranks and jokes and the craic she could bring with a vengence. It was an art this craic, fluent and bold and filled with sandwiches and cigarette smoke. My mom's mate from back in the day was finally able to get her attention through the chaos and hilarious din in the 18th century church that day. She called "NOREEN" like an incantation, and my mom, the dog, was led through those enormous double doors into the vestibule, out into the day, and on to Heaven.

Amen.